When I began writing this newsletter I had just lost Jack but then we lost Sadie two weeks to the day. Of course, many of you knew them, practiced yoga with them in person or online for many years. They have both been suffering from heart and lung issues for the past several years. No doubt I had extra time with them; more than even the doctors thought I would have. Still my life has been spent monitoring them, cutting up medicine 3 times a day, cooking them food and sometimes hand-feeding them. My life was filled with much stress and anxiety but I would do it all over again because they were worth it. They brough me so much love and joy. After a long day of work, I looked forward to coming home to their welcome.
Knowing that someone is sick doesn't take away the pain of loss or grief. I don't have any regrets though and know that when the time was right, we let go and listened to the moment. I have had loss before however was never present for it. Even with my family I was always notified, which is very different than being there. Watching someone's last breath and moment as you feel them pass away in your arms is quite hard to do, however at the same time I know I was with them till the end.
I have been taking the time to grieve and this also led me to meeting with a therapist, as there is nothing wrong with asking for help. I also found ways to write, take walks outside and I had pictures printed out to put in new frames around the house. I also went back and read through years of cards I had saved from those I have taught; as I was in a place of doubt and discovering my purpose in life (again). Now I am focusing on things I have put off for years, because caretaking was my priority.
So... I am subbing at a studio in Old Town for a month and glad to help both the teacher and the studio with this. If you haven't gone to a studio in a while and feel up to it again, maybe this will be some motivation to take some steps to return. If so, I hope to see you there, give you a big hug and we'll keep moving forward together.
Thank you for all those that wrote me, sent cards, and flowers
during this very hard time.
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Hope to see you soon and email me if you have any requests or questions.
Have wonderful weekend!
paigesyoga@me.com
--Paige